just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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