Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
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is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
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I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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