Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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