I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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