He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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