are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
