I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
