i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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