physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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