Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize