I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
