I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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