He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
