it's too hot outside to masturbate.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
