Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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