so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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