doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
