What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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