I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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