id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
