Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
