i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
