Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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