We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
