i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
