Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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