I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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