fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
