We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize