mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
