yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
