i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
