I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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