Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He better not be in your backpack
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
