I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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