We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
