I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
