i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
