They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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