she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
NoShamevember. You game?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
All I want is dick and wine.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize