Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
