you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
