he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
