Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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