I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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