a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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