I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
