just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
