sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Randomize
