Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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