That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
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Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
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The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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