doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
