I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize