His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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