His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize