good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
