Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Randomize
