Redeem this text for a blowjob
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
