we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
don't judge my taste in strippers
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
