Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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