Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
