My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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