i think i have two assholes
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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