God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
