It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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