Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize