She said her name was "party"
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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