i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
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