Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
