just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
