isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
