do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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