I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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