Sponge bath it is.
I need help removing her.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
